3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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