Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
