Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
