if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
