with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
