Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
