Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize