Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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