I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
