i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
