For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
