I am full of burrito and curiosity
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
