He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
