Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
