Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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