y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
