she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
