You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
