Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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