Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
