4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize