Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You are a genius and a whore.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
