No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
