Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize