i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize