How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i already hear my dad disowning me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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