whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize