grandma shit on top of the toilet
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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