I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
