i think i have herpe
just one?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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