I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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