you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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