have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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