38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
