So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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