You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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