Will you blow on my dice?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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