How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
