We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
