Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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