Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
