I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
