I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
