hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
