are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
