I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
