For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
