State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
