your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
