Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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