Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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