I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
