Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize