So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
