whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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