I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
