you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
