Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
