I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
