Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
