Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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