I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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