Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
