Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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