I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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