The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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