so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
