Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize