You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
