He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
