what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
