now i know why i became what i already was.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
